literature

The first time I went to jail

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WhoKilledKirov's avatar
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Literature Text

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The first time
I went to jail, I remember waiting
in line.  

I worked in the laundry,
stirring orange jumpsuits
and white sheets
in cauldrons.  The colors of a
flightless bird.

I read the bible
in the library and memorized
the first three words of
every chapter.

And when
    Bellow,
a black man from St. Louis,
traded me a carton of cigarettes
to read a letter from his daughter,
    I made up the words so
he would never know
how little she cared that he was dying
a young man.  How little she knew at all.

Jack and I always sat in the first pew
at Chapel.  I’m not a Christian, or anything,
but it's nice when
somebody else speaks about the goodness of
all people,
and they can still believe it,
even in a place like this.

Jack held my hand
when we lit our candles.
He said each flame was like a birthday wish
to him.
I said that I didn’t think that was quite how it worked
and later that night, he hanged himself from the top bunk.
I didn’t really like him that much,
but it got me out of bathroom duty for a whole week,
so he’s okay in my book.

The first time I went to jail,
I wet the bed
twice in one night.
The worst part,
was that it didn’t even smell
like mine.  I wedged myself between
the mattress and the wall and
watched the yellow spread
on cotton white.  The colors of
a flightless bird.
for Cable and 10esee.
© 2005 - 2024 WhoKilledKirov
Comments51
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amonkinaway's avatar
I hated jail myself at first.
Then I realized most people in there where like me.
A few where angry, a few where depressed.
A lot just wanted to get out.
Then there where the lifers.
My man raequan stabbed his girlfriend for cheating on him.
When he got in he hated himself.
Then he became angry.
He like me in the beginning was quiet.
He did not say a word in booking.
He tried to stay to himself.
Then the crips recruited him.
The dorm across from us was the bloods dorm so every crip that entered was taken out momentarily from being beaten really bad.
I was in the latin king/crip dorm.
they got togather well.
That was funny to me.
Then my man papito told me that the crips and lks didn't have to much hate for each other on that block.
The food was shit and the cos had little control over the inmates.
Your safety was in one way directly reliant apon what gang you where in and if you where a neutral you had to wear grey and give your commissary as a "protection".
Eventually as you got to know who was who you started to realize that even though there where murders and drugs and all sorts of crazy shit and you where the bottom of society and no one gave a fuck about you or wether you died or lived you gained a deeper understanding of life and yourself.